Looking in the Mirror
by Chance for Chaos
Summary: Cloud thinks he's the furthest thing from perfection. Someone else knows there's no one closer.
1. The Ride

_I immediately regret doing this. I regretted it since the moment the train took off from the station. No, wait. I regretted it the moment I woke up this morning. If only it were an hour earlier. I would just forget this whole idea about joining SOLDIER and go back to sleep. What a ridiculous thought. But even though I knew this was gonna be a bad idea since this morning, I still trudged all the way here, boarded the train and watched as we left the station behind. There was no amount of physical protesting to stop it, jump off and run back home. _

_No, all the protesting was in my head. It was like my body had no amount of strength left in it to stand up. As if I were possessed by something and couldn't stop myself from continuing to put this mistake into action and cross the point of no return. What am I even doing here? Just to prove to myself and everyone else that I CAN do this..? To finally have something to speak of? Goddamn.. my stomach is in __**KNOTS**__. My heart is pounding so hard it's causing my whole body to vibrate. I have no strength to get the conductor to stop the train because every ounce of it is being used to keep myself under control and refrain from having a panic attack. _

Cloud leaned his head back against the seat and gulped down deep breaths in hopes of slowing his heart down and to ease his tense stomach. He was so nervous he could barely work up the nerve to ask the stewardess for a glass of water. Eventually one came around and politely asked him if he needed anything. If she hadn't, Cloud would've just gone without for the whole trip. The cool liquid was a welcome sensation for his stomach.

As he stared out the window at the passing scenery, he tried to unravel the mass of tangled negativity in his head and reassure himself that everything will be alright. He smiled at the possibility of actually being a proficient warrior and impressing everyone. A situation Cloud has never experienced in his life and has always sought after. For once, he wanted to excel at something and be envied. He wanted others to turn to him for advice. He wanted attention. He wanted to be proud.

_Maybe it won't be so bad. This is what I've always wanted, isn't it? Leave it to me to constantly second guess myself. This is going to be awesome. There's gonna be a lot of guys jealous of me. It'll sure shut the ones up who didn't think I could ever amount to anything!_

Cloud smiled for a second and tried his best to hang onto the optimism. Yet, he couldn't help but sigh and let his smile drop after a bit. Optimism isn't really his thing.

He glanced around the car; it was scantily populated. A few groups of people as well as a few loners dotted the compartment. No one sat next to or directly in front of Cloud, which he was thankful for. He just wanted to be alone to endure this internal torment. It's what he's used to. The seat he was in was quite comfortable despite the rest of the car looking slightly dilapidated. The sky was overcast with layers of dark and light gray clouds. Small drops of rain could be seen on the window. The train was going too fast to notice it was sprinkling outside otherwise.

_At least I have a few hours before I actually have to do anything. Maybe I can catch a nap before we arrive.. All this stress is sapping my energy like crazy._

Cloud leaned his head against the window and closed his eyes. _I wish I knew why things had to be this way. _

_..No._

_Everything will be alright. They have to be for once._


	2. New World

The train came to a halt long before Cloud would have preferred. The sudden stop and commotion abruptly ended his nap. It took him a second to remember where he was and what he was doing. Once he realized that, the calm he felt was replaced by his familiar turmoil from before.

"All passengers getting off at Midgar station, we've arrived at your destination." The conductor confirmed over the intercom.

"Here we go.. The moment I've been waiting for." Cloud stretched out and reluctantly stood up, gathered his bags and head for the exit.

He couldn't help but tremble a little out of nervousness. He only hoped it wouldn't be terribly obvious. He envisioned two scenarios. One saw him having an easy first day in Midgar. Everything would go smoothly; the people would be nice, he'd have an easy time finding everything, the tension would iron out shortly after arrival and this would turn out to be the best decision he has ever made.

The other scenario wasn't so pleasant and Cloud knew this one was much more likely to happen. Everyone would treat him like shit - bully him, never give him a break. Not limited to just his fellow cadets, either. He wouldn't be able to hide his shyness and everyone would tear him apart about it.

Once he stepped off the train, he was taken aback by the scenery. "God damn.." Cloud had never seen so many lights beaming at once. Only the stars in the sky hovering over the well at home could compare. He saw Midgar plenty of times on TV, but nothing compared to the real thing. He hardly set foot outside of Nibelheim and whenever he did, it was only to cities comparable to his hometown. Being so sequestered from the bigger cities in the world added more to the culture shock of actually being in a major city. THE major city. It was like being a new world.

_How often does a boy from a nowhere-town like Nibelheim, a name unfamiliar to most people, find himself standing in the capital city? It's an opportunity that no one should pass up. I __**cannot**__ pass this up. I owe it to myself and everyone in the world, especially those that wanted to enter SOLDIER as bad as I did but weren't as lucky as me. I can't let us down._

"You here to enlist?" asked a young Shinra guard, taking him out of his thoughts.

"Huh? ..Oh! Yeah." Cloud snapped back to reality.

"Alright, stay with this group and we'll get you set up." The guard said, pointing out a crowd of guys around Cloud's age all carrying bags of their own belongings. He approached the herd of young men and integrated. He immediately noted that most of them were considerably taller than him, making him feel insecure. Only a handful of the boys even noticed him, the rest were busy talking. Mostly about Shinra and SOLDIER and of course the great Sephiroth.

_Sephiroth! Man.. I've been so wrapped up in all my bullshit that I completely forgot about him! How is that even possible? I'm actually going to get a chance to meet him. I need to get my shit together so I can impress him. _

Eventually the group of boys were led to Shinra HQ. Cloud couldn't help but get caught up in sight-seeing along the way. He didn't really feel like trying to talk to any of the other guys. He was still too nervous. But the awe-inspiring city and adjustment setting in was helping to tone it down. Although he did notice that one guy was giving him a weird look every now and then. He looked like he was one of the oldest, had short black hair, dark eyes and eyebrows permanently slanted in an angry expression. Just a bit intimidating. He hoped it was an unintentional glance. It made him uncomfortable, but he didn't get much of a chance to worry about it as they now stood at the foot of the imposing Shinra building.

The group went in and were met with a much larger group of new recruits. There must have been about 200 other young men hanging out in the lobby of the Shinra building waiting for further instructions. The building was air conditioned, not unexpectedly. The place smelled clean, polished and of new electronics. They probably keep things new and current as often as possible here. It is Shinra, after all. They could afford to keep things immaculate.

Cloud knew he should have taken this opportunity to get to know some of his fellow recruits, but he just didn't have the best social skills. That's one of the main reasons he wanted to join SOLDIER. He knew that would force him to be more outgoing.

"Alright, everyone. Please follow me. We're going to assign you rooms and your equipment." Cloud followed the large crowd into a separate room full of tables, equipment and people holding clipboards. Eventually Cloud was given his uniform and his room number. They were then led into an elevator to the appropriate floor and left to find the room they were assigned to.

Cloud anxiously approached what would be his new living quarters for a while. He hoped his roommates wouldn't give him hell. It'd be bad enough if any of the other guys did, but he wouldn't be able to get away from them if they live with him.

As he turned the corner, he saw two boys in the room talking and unpacking their bags. He awkwardly stepped in and the boys stopped their conversation to acknowledge their new roommate.

"Hey. You must be rooming with us. I'm Victor." One of the boys promptly greeted Cloud with a friendly smile and held out a hand for him to shake. He was tall and handsome with light brown hair, pale blue eyes and a medium build outlining through his black shirt. This guy was definitely the outgoing type.

Cloud reached out and shook his hand. "Hey. I'm Cloud." The other boy stood up and approached Cloud to shake his hand as well. He was skinny and had reddish blond spiked hair and striking green eyes.

"I'm Stavro. Nice to meet you, Cloud."

"You too." He smiled and looked around. It wasn't the most luxurious room. He figured those were reserved for the higher ups, those that were in SOLDIER. Two beds on each bunk. Obviously they were missing one roommate. So far, so good. Cloud would be fine if Victor and Stavro were his only two roommates. They seemed easygoing and nice. He only hoped number four would be the same. Maybe he backed out and it'd just be the three of them. That would be nice.

"Cloud, you can share a bunk with me," Victor said, "as long as you don't mind having the bottom bunk. I used to share a bunk bed with my older brother back home. He got the top and I was stuck with the bottom. So this time I want the top, is that alright?"

"Yeah, that's fine with me." Cloud said, setting his stuff down next to his bunk.

"Got sick of bottoming, huh?" Stavro snickered before being pelted with a blue shirt.

"Shut up, Stav!" Victor laughed as the shirt was thrown back at him. He climbed on his bunk and laid down. "So.. where you from?"

"Nibelheim."

"Nibelheim? Never heard of it." Stavros commented, slicking back his hair. "I'm from here - Sector 6."

"Sector 8." Victor added.

_So these guys have been around this for all their lives. I can't even imagine how that would be. _Cloud was envious.

"Yeah.. Nibelheim is pretty far from here." Cloud felt almost self conscious about his origin in the company of two guys who are locals in the capital city. "So.. is it just the three of us?"

"Nope. There's one more." answered Victor.

_I was afraid of that._

And as if on cue, roommate number four walked in. Cloud didn't look directly at him at first, watching him enter out of the corner of his eye. The man was taller than Victor and dressed almost completely in black. A tight shirt gripped his sculpted torso and loose fitting jeans draped over his long legs. His large boots clapped against the hard wood floor and added at least two inches to his already towering height.

Victor and Stavro's conversation ended abruptly as he walked in.

"Hey, Rowik." greeted Victor.

"What's up, kids?" the man responded. He had a very mature sounding voice, with a noticeable cocky twinge.

"Hey, meet out new roommate. This is Cloud." Stavro announced. Cloud looked up and his eyes met a familiar face that sent a minor shock through him.

_It's HIM. That guy who was staring at me._

Cloud wasn't happy about this. Sure, he didn't know this man in and out, but he just had a bad feeling about him.

"Cloud, huh?" Rowik smirked. He approached Cloud until he was a little too close for comfort. Cloud felt his insecurity spiking once again as the height difference was painfully obvious now. Rowik's height was much more obvious now as he stood in front of Cloud. Rowik was much taller up close. He towered over Cloud, his eyes were level with his well-built chest. His stern chin hovered tauntingly over Cloud's head. The man laughed. "What the fuck kinda name is that?"

Saliva pooled in Cloud's mouth. He wanted to swallow it, but didn't want to show fear. _What kinda fucking name is Rowik?_

He wished he had the guts to speak his mind, but he also noticed Rowik's massive fists resting at his sides and would prefer not to be crushed by them.

"I dunno.. just a name..?" Cloud furrowed his eyebrows and looked into the older man's dark brown eyes. He didn't know if this was a good idea or not. He was afraid, but he didn't want to show it. He also didn't want to cross into dangerous territory. He merely laughed at Cloud's answer and looked at the other guys who laughed with him, albeit nervously.

"Tryin' to get into SOLDIER, little man?" He continued, "Kinda small, ain't ya?"

"Obviously not if I made it this far." Cloud shot back. Rowik snickered again. "Kid, making it this far don't mean shit. Most you're gonna be doin' is shinin' my shoes." Cloud's face twisted to an angry expression. He wanted so badly to come back at him. It wasn't just fear holding him back, but he was drawing a complete blank in comebacks. This always happened during intense situations. All he could do was glare up into those menacing eyes. Rowik laughed once again. Cloud already grew sick of his taunting snicker.

The man turned around, finishing his confrontation with the young blond.

"They want us in the mess hall. Chow time." Rowik exited the room, his slicked black hair nearly grazing the top of the door frame. Cloud let out a loud sigh of relief and wiped away the thin layer of sweat forming on his forehead.

_Guess I was right about him._

AN: Sorry for the short chapter last time. I'm building things up for more crucial plot points. Hope you're enjoying the story so far. More to come! Please review! Thank you!


	3. Fast Friends

Cloud was relieved when Rowik's torment was over and he exited the room. He took the heavy tension along with him. Both of his roommates immediately turned their attention to their new friend.

"He really ripped into you." Stavro noted. Cloud stared down at the floor in mild shame. Victor shot a wasted glare at Stavro, who was still fixated on the shaken boy, then dropped down from his bunk with a thud and approached Cloud and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, you alright?" Victor was genuinely worried. Cloud felt the knot in his stomach loosen with Victor's touch and friendly demeanor. He was still upset about what took place but pulled it together in favor of shaking off the concern. He didn't want his roommates to think he needed to be babysat. "Yeah, it's cool."

"Good!" Victor smiled and patted him on the shoulder. "How 'bout we get something to eat? I'm starved!"

"I'm up for that!" Stavro stood up and followed Victor to the door, but turned back noticing Cloud wasn't following him. "Aren't you hungry?" Cloud looked up. "Uh.. yeah. You guys go ahead. I'll meet up with you later." The boys nodded and headed down the hall. Cloud didn't intend on following. He wasn't in much of a mood to be social and definitely didn't want to risk running into Rowik again, although that's difficult to do in the long run when it comes to your roommate. Cloud frowned at being reminded of this.

Cloud climbed into his bed. _Not the most comfortable.._ He sighed and stared up into the top bunk. _One asshole for a roommate is better than three. I don't really know what to make of Stavro. Victor seems cool. Maybe if I stick with him, Rowik will lay off me. _He shook his head. _Nah.. I can't do that. I'll never get into SOLDIER by hiding behind some guy. _With that, some unwanted memories began to flash in Cloud's mind. _No.. I don't want to think about that now. _Cloud shifted his attention to the light on the ceiling and returned to his original train of thought. _No one would respect me if I did that. Besides, I don't want Victor to get hurt because of me. I need to be strong on my own. That's why I came here!_

Cloud glanced at the clock and noticed he had a couple hours before curfew. They were told they could walk around HQ and check things out on their first night, so he decided to take advantage of that if not to just get out and have some more time to be pensive.

The halls were littered with several guys standing around and talking or walking to their destination. He passed by the mess hall and attempted to see if he could find his roommates in passing and only finding a guy that was most likely Rowik. He smirked knowing he dodged a chance at humiliation, but it faded quickly since he knew he couldn't avoid his roommate forever.

The automatic door slid open as Cloud approached it. The air was much cooler now than when he arrived. Indistinguished speech and automobiles served as the soundtrack for the populous city. He saw a few kids he recognized from the living quarters walking around town. He headed for a bench he spotted in a secluded area, illuminated by a street lamp perched high above it.

He sat down and leaned back, making the old bench creak. He found no stars in the sky, only ominous clouds shrouding the atmosphere.

_I think too much for my own good. I wish I could just go with the flow and not be so anxious about __**everything. **__All the other guys are either having dinner or out doing something in town with their new friends while I'm sitting here by myself. Great way to make a change, Cloud.. _He groaned, annoyed at himself and closed his eyes.

"Hey! Are you one of the new recruits?" Cloud nearly leaped off the bench and into the street, but managed to stifle it down to a small jump and turned around and saw a tall man with dark hair, mostly obscured by the shadows. The man laughed.

"Sorry! Didn't mean to scare ya." He stepped into the light. Cloud was caught off guard by this man's strikingly handsome appearance. He had thick, spiky black hair that seemed to have a bluish hue to it when in the light. His eyes were a refreshing shade of aqua, clear as water. His lips were curled into a genuine smile. He had an immaculate complexion; a face that would no doubt accurately express whatever this man was feeling. Although it's hard to imagine a frown on this guy's face. The shape of his well-built body was clearly visible underneath his uniform. "My name is Zack Fair, what's yours?"

"I'm Cloud Strife. And yeah, I'm here to join SOLDIER." Cloud smiled. "Nice to meet you, Cloud! This seat taken?" Zack asked, pointing to the bench. "No, go ahead." Cloud answered, shyly. Zack promptly sat next to him. Cloud felt like he was grinning like an idiot at the closing proximity between the two of them. "So how come you're all alone out here?"

Cloud pursed his lips. "I dunno. It's all kind of a lot to take in at once. Especially for me. I'm not so much in the mood to socialize and eat right now." He looked down, hoping his answer wasn't completely lame. "I hear ya. It's sensory overload your first day, but the good news is you'll get used to it pretty soon and you'll make a lot of friends here along the way. Promise!" Zack reassured him, still flashing that smile. His optimism was contagious. Just looking at Zack was enough to make it easier for Cloud to breathe and relax.

"Besides all the rush, is everything going alright for you?" Zack asked, almost as if he knew exactly what Cloud was thinking about. Cloud, of course, didn't want to bring Zack down with his own drama, especially during their very first conversation. "Yeah. Everything's great! Can't wait to get started with training." Zack laughed. "You're an ambitious one! I won't lie, though. It's a lot of hard work. I had an idea of how hard it would be before coming in here and then realized it was 20 times harder than that." Cloud felt a bit more discouraged at that fact than he would've liked. "Heh. I figured.."

He was undoubtedly feeling a fast connection forming with Zack. You didn't need to be highly perceptive to tell that he was the friendly, outgoing type. The kind of guy who would risk his own life in favor of his friend's. He wanted so badly to start spilling his guts to Zack at that very moment, after only a half hour of meeting each other. He knew how ridiculous that was. Perhaps it's because he's never really had anyone to lean on. The few people in his life that came close either didn't understand or eventually fucked him over. All the trauma he's been through over the past few years was building up and he was having a hard time carrying the burden on his own. He knew he couldn't do that. Not now. It's too soon. What if Zack turned out to be like his former friends? Cloud hoped that wasn't true.

"Hey, Cloud.. It's getting kinda late. We better go back inside before they get pissed at us." Zack sounded almost as disappointed as Cloud felt. "Yeah. I better not get on their bad side on my first night."

"I'll come by your room tomorrow and we can hang out some more. Is that alright?" Cloud turned to Zack, surprised he was the one being asked to hang out for once. "Sounds good!" Cloud's face practically lit up. Zack chuckled, satisfied that he could make his new friend smile. _Maybe all Cloud needs is a friend._

Zack followed Cloud to his room. "I remember these rooms. It's been a while, though." Zack glanced around then turned to Cloud. "So I'll see ya tomorrow after training. I can introduce you to some of my friends if you want!" Cloud was hoping for more alone time with Zack, but he figured a guy like him is probably pretty popular. He went along with it. "That's cool with me."

"Alright, take care of yourself, Cloud!" Zack said before taking off down the hallway. Cloud smiled after him and then turned to his door. _I guess it's back to reality for me._ He opened the door slowly in case his roommates were already asleep, but it was dark and empty. Cloud grimaced at being back earlier than he apparently needed to be, but it was okay since he was absolutely exhausted. He was asleep before his head hit the pillow.

After a while he could feel his body temperature start to rise uncomfortably high. His sweat began to moisten his shirt and hair and soak through to the bed and pillow. He groaned and scrunched his eyebrows as he turned in his bunk to find a comfortable spot. A cool breeze gently blew over Cloud, drying his sweat and giving him relief. He slid to a different position in his bed when he realized he wasn't in bed anymore. He pried open his heavy eyelids to almost complete darkness at first. Once his eyes adjusted, he saw the night sky filled with bright blue stars.

He noticed he was resting his head against someone's arm and leg. He whipped his head around and to his shock, realized he had fallen asleep in Zack's lap. "Hey, you're awake." Zack said calmly, "You've been out for a while." Cloud was both amazed and bewildered.

**AN: A bit of a cliffhanger. Haha. As always, let me know what you think through reviews and stuff. I'm glad you guys are enjoying the story so far and I look forward to hearing from you! More to come.**


	4. Into the Storm

**AN: I apologize for this one taking a while to post. I wanted to make it as best as I could! As always, read and review! Thanks! On to chapter 4.**

"How did I get here..?" Cloud asked suspiciously. He was too put off by the weird circumstances to enjoy what was currently going on. Zack smiled innocently.

"You must've had a long day. You fell asleep on me while we were talking. You looked so peaceful, so I just let you rest." Zack brushed a stray lock of blond hair from Cloud's face. "Are you feeling better?" Cloud turned to Zack, confused. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm worried about you, Cloud. I know you're not well." Cloud didn't know how Zack knew any of this. _Did I tell him and forget before I passed out...? _Zack stared down into Cloud's eyes, concern very apparent. He gently traced his fingertips over Cloud's forehead. "You need to take care of yourself. You can't take much more of this."

"Zack how do y-" Cloud sat up, but Zack placed a stopping hand on his chest. "Sshhh.. Go back to sleep. You need your rest." He obediently laid his head back down in Zack's lap without putting up a fight and closed his eyes. "Promise you'll take care of yourself, Cloud. Please.." His words echoed through Cloud's head as he dozed off. "Mm.. I promise.."

He felt himself being shaken. "Rise 'n shine, Cloud. It's morning!" Cloud groaned and opened his eyes to Victor standing over him. "Hey buddy, you're finally awake! C'mon, we're gonna be late for our first day of training!"

_Aww.. fuck! _Cloud buried his face in his pillow. He almost asked for five more minutes, but he remembered that doesn't exactly work in a situation like this. He mustered all the energy he could to push himself off the bed and get ready to go. He forgot about Rowik being in the same room as him until almost stumbling into the skyscraper. He expected to be reprimanded, but apparently Rowik's not too good to be silent during mornings either.

Training attire was simple enough; a pair of dark blue pants, gray t-shirt and dark brown boots. Cloud threw them on as quick as he could so he wouldn't hold his roommates up, if they would even wait for him. "Where were you last night? We looked for you at dinner... and after." Stavro broke the silence of the rushing boys. Cloud felt awkward answering, he felt uncomfortable even speaking in the same room as Rowik. "I wasn't really hungry so I went for a walk and then came back here."

"That's too bad. We met a lot of cool guys at dinner last night. You'll have to meet them tonight. We'll save you a spot if you want." _For most people, there are usually only a few things that someone else can talk about that will remind them of a sore subject and bring them down. For me, almost everything is a sore subject, so it's not hard for such a thing to be brought up to bring me down. I guess I can say there's a reason for that, but it's not a very good one..._

_I just wish I could meet and make friends with people as easily as others. Why do some things seem to come so easy for other people and seem so fucking impossible for me?_

"Totally. I'll be there." Cloud was unenthusiastic. He knew this was the way to do things. He just had to jump in, even if he was scared. That's what this is all about.

The boys exited their room and merged with the traffic of other guys all heading for the same place. Eventually they all made it to the training room; a huge white gymnasium. The ceiling must've hovered 50 feet above their heads. He noticed a tall, built man wearing almost the same training uniform as the boys standing near the entrance to the room.

"Gentlemen! Over here!" The man's booming voice echoed through the gym. The group immediately walked over to him. _I can already tell dealing with this guy's gonna be a lot of fun. _Cloud mentally calmed himself down because he knew this would be torture. There was a silver lining, though. _I just need to get through this. The sooner I get this out of the way, the sooner I can see Zack again and the sooner I can actually __**become**__ someone._

"Alright, men. You're here to become part of the Shinra army. First thing you're going to need, above all else, is determination. If you aren't here for the right reasons and aren't prepared to put forth 200% of your effort into this, then get your ass out of here right now." Silence. No one moved, except for curious boys looking around. "So either everyone here's ready to do some hard work or some of you are full of shit. Doesn't matter to me. I'll find out if you're lying sooner or later. I'm going to grill the shit out of every one of you and if you're a lightweight who isn't here for the right reasons, you'll crumble. I won't allow anyone who's less than qualified to enter the Shinra army. In other words - NO PUSSIES!"

_I already hate this guy._

"I will be your training instructor - you may call me Amirus. I'm gonna start you off on some work outs for a while to prep you for running the obstacle courses." The man paced around us. "What are we gonna do after that..?" One of the guys asked. The man looked annoyed. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it!" He spat. "Alright now, let's see if everyone's here." He grabbed a clipboard and began calling off everyone by last name.

"Strife!" "Here!" Silence. Amirus looked around. "Strife!" He bellowed again. "HERE!" Cloud was slightly embarrassed. The man huffed. "Speak up, Strife! This isn't a damn library!" The boys snickered quietly. Cloud rolled his eyes. _What are you, fucking deaf? It's like I'm not even here... _Eventually he finished calling off names.

"Alright, boys. We're gonna warm up with jogging ten laps around the gym. Get to it!" The boys immediately began jogging on Amirus' command. That didn't seem to deter the boys any. Next up was actual exercises. Only push ups and sit ups for today, but things wouldn't be this easy as time went on.

Cloud expected rigorous training, but was a bit overwhelmed by just how much was required of him on the first day. There wasn't much of an opportunity to be social during training. The only one speaking was Arimus, barking orders and taking jabs at some of the guys. Cloud evaded his criticism for today, save for what happened at roll call.

After an eternity of pushing himself off the ground repeatedly, Arimus signaled the end of training for the day. "Hit the showers!" Three beautiful words. The gymnasium was filled with the exhausted huffs and gasps of the recruits as they lifted themselves off the mats and head for the showers.

Cloud grit his teeth as he realized that "shower" actually entailed "stripping naked in a room full of other naked boys." He sucked in a huge breath of air as he entered the locker room and pulled his dampened training clothes off. Echoes of the guys talking and laughing bounced off the walls of the shower and locker room. He quickly wrapped his towel around him and forced himself into the steamy shower room.

Self-consciousness immediately began rearing its ugly head. Cloud was surrounded by chiseled bodies and bulging muscles. These guys were in their mid to late teens but possessed bodies of a 25 year old. Most being taller and more built than average boys their age. Handsome guys that could do whatever they want; get any girl, kick anyone's ass. Cloud felt like he didn't measure up and very underdeveloped compared to these guys. He was torn, however, as he was also experiencing a very different feeling from looking at these guys. Self-consciousness wasn't the only thing rearing its head.

_Oh, god.. NOT here! _Cloud could feel heat gathering and a stiffening in his midsection. Cloud quickly picked out an empty shower head, conveniently next to Victor. Cloud tried not to acknowledge him and immediately turned the handle and was inundated by hot water and steam. _Just in time.._

Cloud closed his eyes and exhaled loudly as the water pounded on him, drenching and weighing down his normally vertical hair. Cloud opened his eyes and Victor caught his attention. Suddenly he couldn't stop staring at Victor's toned, tan body and marveled at how erotic he looked with water pouring down on him. His wet hair fell and clung to his forehead and hung over his blue eyes.

_Erm.. Dammit! I was just getting back to normal. _Cloud really hoped no one noticed, praying that the soap and steam was shrouding him enough. He turned away from Victor before he noticed.

"How was your first day, Cloud?" He reflexively turned to Victor, despite trying to avoid doing just that. Victor was smirking down at him. "It went alright. I didn't realize it until now, but that took a lot out of me." Victor laughed and agreed. "I know what you mean." "This is gonna be fun. How are we supposed to do anything if we're gonna be exhausted after training everyday?"

"It gets easier over time. After a while, days like this will be nothing to us." Stavro said from across the shower. "Can't wait for that." Cloud looked around and noticed Rowik on the other end glaring at him, giving him an icy sensation in the steaming room. He immediately turned away. Cloud noticed that his erection went away during the conversation. The screeching of shower handles could be heard as the guys finished one by one. Cloud finished up and dried off a little while in the room, not wanting to do so without the safety of the steam to cover him up.

Cloud was practically in a hurry to throw on his clean clothes in the locker room and get back to his room and wait for Zack. He had been waiting all day to spend more time with him. He was in such a rush that he beat Victor out of the showers and Stavro and Rowik in returning to their room.

He whipped his duffle bag next to his bunk before collapsing into it, legs dangling off the side. His body ached all over, but he felt refreshed. At the same time, he was exhausted. He lifted his legs onto the bed and curled up, huddling his pillow.

"Cloud..." He felt himself being shaken again. He scrunched his eyes. "No.. It's too early."

"Cloud! It's 3 in the afternoon!" The voice was clearer now, obviously Stavro shaking him out of his nap. "Damn, training must've taken a lot out of you." Stavro said, noting how exhausted Cloud looked. Cloud didn't say anything, using his effort to wake himself up. "Some guy named Zack is here for ya." That woke him up.

"Oh, shit! How long has he been waiting for me?" Cloud hopped out of bed and quickly changed into a black t-shirt and jeans. Stavro was amazed at how fast Cloud was going, raising his eyebrows. "Chill out, dude. He just got here." Cloud blushed a little. "Right.. well I hate making people wait." He laughed nervously as he pulled on his shoes and stood up. "See ya." "Have fun." Stavro waved as Cloud left.

"Hey Spiky!" Zack was leaning against the wall next to the door, smiling. _He looks even better in good lighting. _Cloud smiled back. "Did I interrupt your cat nap?"

Cloud scratched the back of his head. "Guess training was harder on me than I thought."

"All the more reason to have some fun!" Zack beamed. "You're new to Midgar right? How about I show you around!"

"That sounds great!"

The streets of Midgar were densely populated by people commuting from one place to another. Zack led Cloud on a tour of the best places to go for anything: restaurants, malls, arcades, gyms, rec. centers, and everywhere in between. Cloud was undoubtedly enjoying Zack's company, but he felt awkward, removed from his comfort zone. The boys decided to visit the arcade and then get something to eat afterwards.

"High score! Hell yeah!" Zack yelled and jumped a couple times in victory. Cloud chuckled. "You have this place dominated, don't you?" Zack shrugged. "Ain't nothing better than hanging out at the arcade to blow off some steam, especially in SOLDIER!" Cloud checked out Zack's 6-digit score flashing on the screen of the fighting game, then turned to his pitiful 3-digit score and cringed.

_It's no big deal. Don't let it get to you._

Next stop was a pizza place. 'Best pizza in all Midgar!' according to Zack. The two sat down near the front window with their pepperoni pizza. Cloud was drawing a series of blanks all day. He absolutely loathed his inability to start conversation and in some cases, to keep it going. He feared that Zack would be put off by this and not want to hang out anymore or think that Cloud doesn't like him.

"So where do you come from, Cloud?" Zack asked. Cloud hesitated for a moment, like he had to remember where he's from. "I'm from Nibelheim. What about you?" _He's gotta be from around here, no doubt._

"I'm from Gongaga!" Zack said with enthusiasm. Cloud was surprised, mostly because he never heard of the place. "I have no idea where that is." He admitted. Zack laughed. "I have no idea where Nibelheim is, either!" They both laughed. "Well, Nibelheim is in the middle of nowhere, basically." Zack nodded. "So is Gongaga!" He grinned. "Guess we got something in common, Cloud!"

The tension and discomfort seemed to be disappearing the more they talked and joked around. Just being around Zack helped to ease it away as well.

Four guys entered the restaurant, rounded the corner and headed for their table. Cloud wasn't pleased with this and he allowed that to show on his face.

"Yo, Zack!" A guy wearing a bright orange shirt called out. Zack turned around. "Hey guys!" He waved to them and they all helped themselves to the nearby seats without asking. Cloud was mildly annoyed. The guys acted like Cloud wasn't even there, except for a few condescending glances.

"What are you doing here, Zack?" Another of the guys asked, this one had purple hair with one lock hanging next to his left eye. "Just having some pizza with my new friend! Guys, this is Cloud. Cloud, meet Tyrid, Mack, Leon and Karbin." Tyrid was the one in an orange shirt and Leon had the purple hair. Cloud greeted them, but they weren't very interested in showing him the same respect, barely acknowledging him. He felt embarrassed at being denied, thinking he must look like a big idiot to them and to Zack.

Cloud folded his arms and slinked into the background, listening for any opportunity to jump into the conversation, but none were presented.

_These guys are so full of themselves. All they do is talk about how much ass they kicked in training, or how easy things come for them. Must be nice to have something to be proud of. I wouldn't know what that feels like. _

Cloud stared down at his shoes, scowling. He was completely unaware that Zack was routinely shifting glances at him, noting how uncomfortable his friend looked.

On top of that, Cloud's breathing became a little heavier. He was riding an emotional roller coaster at the moment, nothing new to him though.

"What's the matter, little man?" Karbin asked, lacking any hint of actually being genuine. Cloud looked up, erasing his scowl. "Aw, did we interrupt your date, Zacky?" The guys roared in laughter except for Cloud and Zack. Cloud attempted to fake a smile, but failed. He caught Zack looking at him in concern. Cloud stood up, not wanting to pretend to be amused and also not wanting to lash out at them.

"Y'know, I really gotta get back to HQ. See ya later." Cloud marched for the exit as he heard laughing and incredulous remarks being made behind him.

"HQ? He's in Shinra!" Mack snickered, incredulous.

"Who the fuck would let him in? He doesn't look like he could even be a grunt!" Tyrid added, sending the other three into a fit of laughter, causing a spectacle. The other customers looked on, obviously getting irritated with the obnoxious guys. They weren't the only ones. Zack's face was stern and cold, his eyes piercing through his friends.

"Actually, he's a pretty cool guy. But apparently you guys would rather just bash him instead of actually getting to know him." Zack slid his chair back from the table, causing it to screech loudly, stood up and left. The other guys exchanged mystified glances as he stormed out. Zack looked around upon stepping outside and to his disappointment, Cloud was nowhere in sight.


End file.
